There is a glass award on my bookshelf of dreams, for a short story I wrote in 2017.
I wrote that story under a pen-name, because I was trying to build my confidence as a writer and work out what genre suited me.
The award night was to be held in an old London cinema, but I was in Spain at the time and a friend kindly went in my place – and got the shock of his life when he had to make up a speech on my behalf.
I love that award, because it gave me the confidence to write Ever Winter, under my real name.
Last night, my son and I sat up to watch a stream of the 2021 SOVAS Voice Arts Awards, as Ever Winter had been nominated via an incredible Dan Stevens performance of the audio.
It’s Dan’s nomination, of course. It’s about his brilliant performance. Yet, last night, the award was a royal ‘we’ – belonging to Dan, my son and I.
Being a typical dad, I couldn’t get the live stream to work and my tired lad went to bed and I did the same, only to wake up with a crazy number of phone messages, informing me that the royal we (Dan), had won.
I’ve genuinely never expected even nominations for any of my work, directly or otherwise, because (aside from Dan’s credentials), I write part-time outside of a day job and my books aren’t in the shops. Which is the measure for a lot of people who ask about my writing – ‘Why aren’t your books in the shops yet?’
Part of me is still in 2017, hiding under a pen-name and this is where the imposter syndrome kicks in.
Today, I gave myself a break. Any recognition at all, adds hope that I am heading in the right direction. To any writers reading this – give yourself a break.
My one regret, is not booking a plane ticket to the event, hiring a tux and trying to blag my way in with my Essex-boy accent, on the off-chance I might’ve got to meet rap legend DC The Brain Supreme, #DCGlenn #tagteam.
WHOOP THERE IT IS!
Peter Hackshaw - author. 